Start preparing. The seventh sign of the apocalypse has appeared.
Jerry Seinfeld is producing a reality show. That's right. The man who brought us nine seasons of a show about nothing, is bringing us a reality show.
NBC has announced that Mr. Seinfeld will attempt to become master of a new domain next year. The new show is titled "The Marriage Refs." The show's premise is based on married couples having arguments analyzed and ultimately judged by a panel of comedians.
What is this? Springer for the Comedy Central set? Who would actually
volunteer to have their marital spats aired in front of a prime-time audience, opening themselves to ridicule by professional comedians? The same people who would
appear on Springer, that's who. I thought the spread of
reality TV was bad enough. Who would watch? The same people who
watch Springer.
Keep in mind, I'm a huge fan of The Seinfeld Show, so I hold out hope that I'm wrong. Maybe they'll find a way to keep it cute and funny. Personally, I getting my asbestos suit ready for the rapture.
Prepare now!
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Answer: Both may soon be performed in the nude. Seventy-six trombones, indeed! OK, probably not
nude but
sans costume at least. According to the
Southern Oregon Mail Tribune burglars recently broke into the costume shop of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and made off with the costumes for both shows. They left behind a video camera and some cell phones.
The show's are scheduled to open on the 15th and 13th of February respectively. Since my wife helps with costuming at Young People's Theater, I understand how much work goes into getting a costume just right. I hope they come to their senses and return the costumes.
What are they doing with them anyway? Making their own movie?
Harold Hill: A man can't turn tail and run just because a little personal risk is involved. What did Shakespeare say? "Cowards die a thousand deaths, the brave man... only 500"?
Lady Macbeth: Screw your courage to the sticking-place.
Mayor Shinn: Not one poop out of you, Madame!
Mrs. Shinn: I think he means "peep"!
Second Witch: By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.
Harold Hill (agreeing): Mothers of River City, heed that warning before it's too late! Watch for the telltale signs of corruption! The minute your son leaves the house, does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime-novel hidden in the corncrib? Is he starting to memorize jokes from Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang? Are certain words creeping into his conversation? Words like "swell" and "so's your old man"? If so my friends, ya got trouble!
Macbeth: I am in blood. Stepp'd in so far, that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er.
Zaneeta: Papa, please! It's 'Capulets' like you who make blood in the marketplace! Ye Gods!
Macbeth: Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
For God's sake, please bring back the costumes!
I love our country. Watching on television as Barack Obama took the oath of office, yesterday, I was overcome with awe at the site of all the people on the National Mall. That alone spoke volumes about the hope the American people are pinning on our new leader.
President Obama did not sugar-coat things. He outlined the work ahead, and called on all Americans to do their part. He said,
"What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility, a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."
I love that part of his governing philosophy: government as leader, but not as provider. He also added,
"In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom."
He offers the United States an opportunity to rebuild it's respect internationally. The most memorable line of the speech was,
"To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." Did anyone else cringe with awareness that his predecessors were sitting a few feet away when he said,
"On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and
false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics"? Again when he added,
"Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint."It was a terrific speech. It's nice to feel more pride about being an American again. Good luck, Mr. President.
remarkably misguided idea? Well, I got it while watching real "Americans" in 
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